In Case I Never Got the Chance Again
Carved Found Photographs Dimensions Variable, 2019-ongoing
Taken from Craigslist Missed Connections, the text carved into these photographs turn the temporary sentiments of loneliness into something permanent. With this, a new narrative is created using common visual languages and feelings of precarious longing. This piece is an ever growing and changing collection of images. I am constantly collecting found snapshots and intriguing missed connection posts. The work is shown differently in each setting, sometimes taking on a wall display, and sometimes in book form.
I Remember Everything
Dukane A-V Matic, recorded cassette audio tape, 2019
Using a Craigslist Missed Connection post, I asked anonymous readers to send a list of everything they could remember about a person no longer in their lives. Responses weaved intricate webs of intimacy, loss, and longing. Read in the cold yet familiar voice of Siri, but degraded by analog technology, the stories told are both deeply personal yet universal.
Transcript:
I remember his gapped tooth smile, the way his eyes wrinkled up and the sparkles in his blue eyes.
I remember the way he pulled me in for passionate kisses after not seeing me for a while.
the way he randomly stopped us in the middle of anywhere and everywhere, cupped my face with his hands then he ever so tenderly kissed me.
The way he took my hand and held it while we walk.
The way he made love to me, passionately intensely lovingly and dominating all at the same time.
The way his hands glided down my back when he gave me a back rub.
The way he looked at me.
The sound of his laughter; how he calls me “Boo Bear.”
The times we had midnight snacks.
The way his face lights up whenever he told me stories.
All the times be told me he loved me.
All the phone calls I answered he always said, “My boo bear! I miss you!”
The way he spoiled me with food and adventures and back rubs and energy drinks.
I remember all the times we showered together, how he always soaped my back and let me hog the water.
I remember the one time he forgot pajamas so he wore my navy shorts and my workout tank—he rocked them so happily.
He always asked me if I needed anything whenever he went to the kitchen in the middle of the night.
He drove everywhere because I hated driving and he didn’t mind it.
I remember all the long drives of me waking from a nap to him rocking out to his music.
I remember the way he held me, the way he brushed my hair out of my face, the way he kisses my shoulder and my neck just because.
I remember all the times he let me pop his pimples, the times he asked me to shave his hairy back, the times he took longer than I do getting ready.
I remember the way he loved me.
He loved me in all the ways I needed to be loved.
I miss him, my boo bear.
He smelled like warm coffee and sweet tobacco.
His clothes were always ill fitting he had no awareness of his own exterior.
Was just inside himself at all times, but perfectly at home there.
He moved through the world with complete confidence, regardless.
Small things didn’t matter to him. He wasn’t careless with belongings.
He was affectionate. And perceptive. And kind.
His hands were never still. He had boundless energy. Never slowed down. Never tired. Always moving.
The smile he had on his face deep dimples the way his green eyes got small with a cheesy smile.
The way he looked at me with that intense stare. He smelled like a clean man with a hint of marijuana.
The way he licked his lips as he looked at me and rubbed his hands never changed.
Blue jeans sweatshirts deep warm hugs
Dampness from being in a pool or out in the ocean.
Seabreeze smell of the ocean maybe coconut
Beautiful dark brown eyes. Kissable lips the feeling
Feeling like I belonged to someone. The safety found in someone being treated like a prized possession to be guarded and cared for taking care of my dog even though you weren’t an animal lover.
A young man. Cerulean eyes with sunflowers in the centers.
Dark brows and dark long lashes.
Olive skin and a wonderfully sheepish smile.
A slight curve on his back from the pull of gravity, he was over 6 foot 3 a medium build not thin not buff. Artists hands that bore rings.
He had a sway in his walk a slight stride of calm confidence. I just remember the first look, sitting across trying to figure out who this pretty figure was.
He always giggles when he farts He always brought me presents He loved to kiss me He is so smart He wanted the best for me. He prepared me from the beginning.
He had voice that soothes , on the phone could fall asleep quickly .
It didn’t matter where we were , he always tried to make everyone smile. He literally compliments everyone.
I even miss the way his nose scrunches when he laughs
Or how on FaceTime he would put his arm and play with his hair.
I miss his impressions when he was joking around
I have never met a person with a more kinder heart then him.
I remember everything. How soft hands her hands were, her quick remarks, whenever I spar with my limited intellect
We had times together, alone, we would sing, he would play guitar.
We would do dumb, odd things.
like one time we decided to see how long we could go without sleeping
After a tankful of coffee we finally crashed after around forty-eight hours.
He was a beautiful, outspoken man and I miss him.
The most amazing thing about her is her beautiful smile.
I love the way her honey colored eyes shimmer on a brightly sunny day.
Her walk, elegant. Her voice angelic.
She can light up the darkest room in a instance.
She is very complicated but yet very simple.
She's so beautiful, like an angel that illuminates your soul and give you purpose in life. She feels like home when She’s near.
Hell when she’s gone.
She’s a comet that only comes near your world once in a life time.